How much weighs a dream?

English, Phil O' Soph

Approximate reading time: 30 minutes

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Setting goals in life is always an ambitious project. I never seriously fought to set new goals, but on the other hand I never shied away from it. After all, I successfully mastered two courses of study and at least learned to speak three foreign languages ​​fluently. Of course, this is quite impressive and at least something to make me say, that I reached my intrapersonal targets.

But I never fulfilled these goals with a feeling of a proud achievement because I couldn’t build up any emotional level to them. Neither before reaching the goal and nor afterwards. During reaching a goal, I also perceived it as a means to an end.

  • Drivers license? Not needed to know how to navigate a car. Annoying social obligation for individual mobility. But I did my license anyhow for car and motorbike.
  • High school diploma? Was funny and joyful, but served at the end only for more qualifications.
  • Apprenticeship? Well, if I have to. Not a bad idea, but not a good or quaint one either.
  • Bachelor title? Cost a lot of time to receive at the end only a colorful certificate and nice ceremony.
  • Master title? Still a realistic goal to skim a bit of my own potential. Literally to do something off the cuff.

I have rarely been fed up or satisfied and have only quickly check marked the goal that has always been reached or sometimes even surpassed. The epigraph was always to hurry on and never rest on own success.

I even wanted to continue after my Master’s with a Doctor degree. But my former university in Spain artificially artificially extended the certification of my master’s degree in an unprecedented act of administrative chaos and professional inability. Hence, after three elapsed registration periods for a possible doctoral program at another university, I finally lost the desire to waste even more patience or time because of some dorks. Funny to mention at this point that I am still waiting for the official title after 2.5 years. Incredible!

Goals only exist to be accomplished. Nothing more. I was much more interested in intangible and immaterial dreams and abstract ideas. Having a dream in life is wonderful. You can color it imaginatively for yourself, always navigate onto it and enjoy it quietly and secretly without being affected by others.


Dudú Blue Lagoon - Stray dog
A dreaming dog at a lagoon

Nobody can take away your dreams. But goals can be. It only needs one arbitrary and unprofessional decision maker or some administrational obstacles to cross your plans. These external factors can jeopardize your idea to accomplish the goal. Perhaps this was the reason why I could always build up a higher emotional level to dreams than goals. Because what is nicer than following my individual and perspective imagination of life?

Certainly not pursuing a goal and sharing a lecture hall with 100 fellow students, only to end up holding the same documentary wipe in my hands. This is more of a collective goal developed by society to create a certain claim against others. I prefer to stay with my individual dreams in me in my own hemisphere.

Of course, there are also people who advocate the exactly opposite perspective and dismiss dreams as lies. There’s nothing wrong or right about that. But if they don’t judge me, I won’t do the same.

I have often wondered how much a dream weighs. In contrast to a goal, a dream leaves a mental fingerprint and thus has a weight somewhere. The dream has to be stamped and located in a distant place in the brain and this naturally carries weight with it. A goal, on the other hand, is only achieved or not. But it has no mental burden comparable to a dream.


A baby sleeps and has sweet dreams
A baby having very active dreams

There are two dreams that I have followed and lived. One was fulfilled and the other was not. Am I physically heavier than before because of the dream came true?

Next page: A dream that luckily didn’t come true

Wie viel wiegt ein in Erfüllung gegangener Traum?

German, Phil O' Soph

Ungefähre Lesezeit: 30 Minuten

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Ziele im Leben zu setzen ist immer ein ambitioniertes Vorhaben. Ich habe mich nie ernsthaft um die Setzung neuer Ziele gerissen, aber auf der anderen Seite auch nie darum gescheut. Schließlich habe ich immerhin zwei Studiengänge erfolgreich mit Bravour gemeistert und immerhin drei Fremdsprachen fließend sprechen gelernt. Das kann sich natürlich durchaus sehen lassen und repräsentiert meiner Meinung nach das Erreichen von intrapersonellen Zielen.

Mich haben aber diese Ziele niemals mit Stolz erfüllt, weil ich keine Emotionalität dazu aufbauen konnte. Weder vor dem Erreichen des Ziels und danach schon gar nicht. Auch auf dem Wege dazu sah ich das Ziel eher als Mittel zum Zweck.

  • Führerschein? Braucht man nicht, um ein Auto lenken zu können. Lästige gesellschaftliche Pflicht zur individuellen Mobilität. Trotzdem für Auto und Motorrad gemacht.
  • Schulabschlüsse? War lustig und amüsant, aber diente nur der weiteren Qualifikation.
  • Ausbildung? Na gut, wenn es unbedingt sein muss. Keine schlechte Idee, aber auch kein ausgefallener Geistesblitz.
  • Bachelor? Kostete viel Zeit, brachte am Ende aber nur ein buntes Zertifikat und eine schöne Zeremonie.
  • Master? Ein bisschen was geht noch, kein unrealistisches Ziel. Nochmal die berühmte Schippe drauflegen und aus dem Ärmel schütteln.

Selten war ich satt oder gar zufrieden gestellt und habe das stets erreichte oder manchmal gar überflügelte Ziel schleunigst abgehakt. Hastig weiter machen wollen und nie auf einem Erfolg ausruhen war die Devise.

Ich wollte nach dem Mastertitel sogar noch einen Doktor dranhängen. Allerdings hat meine damalige Universität in Spanien in einem beispiellosen Akt an administrativem Chaos und professionellem Unvermögen die Zertifizierung meines Mastertitels derart künstlich in die Länge gezogen, dass mir nach drei verstrichenen Anmeldungsfristen für ein Doktorstudiengang irgendwann die Lust auf noch weitere Geduld, bzw. Zeitverschwendung vergangen ist. Lustig zu erwähnen an dieser Stelle, dass ich auch 2,5 Jahren nach erfolgreichem Abschluss noch immer auf den offiziellen Titel warte. Sachen gibt’s!

Ziele sind also nur da, um erreicht zu werden. Mehr aber nicht. Viel eher war ich an den immateriellen und nicht greifbaren Träumen und abstrakten Vorstellungsweisen interessiert. Einen Traum im Leben zu haben, ist etwas Wundervolles. Du kannst ihn für Dich persönlich imaginär ausmalen, Dich stets daran orientieren und ihn still und heimlich genießen.


Dudú Blue Lagoon - Stray dog
Ein träumender Hund am Ufer einer Lagune

Träume kann Dir keiner nehmen. Ziele hingegen schon. Da muss nur irgendein Querulant von inkompetentem, bzw. willkürlichem Entscheidungsträger im Weg sein oder eine administrative Hürde und bürokratische Schikane aufgebaut werden. Schon ist das gesteckte Ziel wegen dieser externen Einflussfaktoren in Gefahr, erreicht werden zu können. Vielleicht war es dieser Grund, weshalb ich stets eine höhere Emotionalität zu Träumen als zu Zielen aufbauen konnte. Denn was ist schöner als meiner individuellen und perspektivischen Vorstellung zu folgen?

Mit Sicherheit keinem Ziel hinterherzuhecheln und sich mit 100 Kommilitonen einen Vorlesungssaal zu teilen, nur um am Ende den gleichen dokumentarischen Wisch in den Händen zu halten. Das ist eher ein kollektives und von der Gesellschaft entwickeltes Ziel um ein gewisses Anspruchsdenken zu entwickeln und indoktrinieren. Da bleibe ich lieber bei meinen individuellen Träumen vor meinem geistigen Auge.

Es gibt natürlich auch Menschen, die die exakt andere Sichtweise verfechten und Träume als Schäume abtun. Ist weder verkehrt, noch korrekt. Aber: “Jeder Jeck ist anders” wie der besoffene Kölner an Karneval grölt.

Ich habe mich oft gefragt, wie viel ein Traum wiegt. Im Gegensatz zu einem Ziel hinterlässt ein Traum irgendwo einen mentalen Fingerabdruck und damit Gewicht. Der Traum muss irgendwo im Gehirn abgestempelt und lokalisiert werden und das trägt natürlich naturgegeben Gewicht mit sich. Ein Ziel hingegen wird lediglich erfüllt oder auch nicht. Aber es besitzt keine vergleichbare mentale Last wie ein Traum.


A baby sleeps and has sweet dreams
Ein Baby träumt während seiner sehr aktiven Nachtruhe

Es gibt zwei Träume, die ich verfolgt und gelebt habe. Anhand diesen beiden Beispielen möchte ich dezidiert versinnbildlichen, was den Traum ihn mir ausgelöst und was er in mir bewirkt hat. Der eine Traum hat sich erfüllt und der andere nicht. Bin ich durch den in Erfüllung gegangenen Traum nun physikalisch schwerer geworden als vorher?

Nächste Seite: Ein Traum, der sich glücklicherweise nicht erfüllt hat

Cuanto pesa un sueño?

Español, Phil O' Soph

Tiempo de lectura aproximado: 30 minutos

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Fijar metas en la vida es siempre un proyecto ambicioso. Nunca luché seriamente para establecer nuevas metas, pero por otro lado, nunca lo evité. Después de todo, obtuve  con éxito dos diplomas de estudios y  aprendí a hablar al menos tres idiomas extranjeros con fluidez. Por supuesto, esto es bastante impresionante y al menos algo para decirme a mi mismo que alcancé mis objetivos individuales.

Sin embargo nunca sentí orgullo por haber alcanzado estos objetivos porque no pude construir ningún nivel emocional con respecto a ellos . Ni antes de llegar a la meta ni después. El proceso de alcanzar un objetivo, también lo percibí como un medio para un fin.

  •                      Â¿Licencia de conducir? No es necesario saber cómo conducir un automóvil. Es solo una fastidiosa obligación social para poder transportarse individualmente. De todos modos la obtuve  para auto y moto.
  •                      Â¿Diploma de escuela secundaria? Fue divertido y alegre, pero sirvió al final sólo de requisito para poder continuar otros estudios .
  •                      Â¿Aprendizaje? Bueno, si tengo que hacerlo. No es una mala idea, pero tampoco es buena o pintoresca.
  •                      Â¿Título de bachillerato? Cuesta mucho tiempo por recibir al final solo un certificado colorido y una bonita ceremonia.
  •                      Â¿Título de Master? Sigue siendo un objetivo realista para aprovechar un poco mi propio potencial. Literalmente para hacer algo fuera del alcance.

Raramente me harto o estoy satisfecho y solo he marcado rápidamente el objetivo que siempre se ha alcanzado o, a veces, incluso superado. El epígrafe siempre fue apurarse y nunca descansar en el propio éxito.

Incluso quería continuar después de mi maestría con un doctorado Pero mi antigua universidad en España extendió artificialmente el proceso de la certificación de mi maestría en un acto de caos administrativo e incapacidad profesional inolvidable en mi vida. Por lo tanto, después de tres períodos transcurridos de registro para un posible programa de doctorado en otra universidad, finalmente perdí el deseo de perder aún más paciencia o tiempo debido a algunos burros. Es curioso mencionar en este punto que todavía estoy esperando el título oficial después de 2.5 años. Â¡Increíble!

Las metas sólo existen para ser alcanzadas. Nada más. Estaba mucho más interesado en sueños intangibles e inmateriales e ideas abstractas. Tener un sueño en la vida es maravilloso. Puedes colorearlo imaginativamente para ti mismo, siempre conducirte hacia él y disfrútalo en silencio y en secreto sin que otros te afecten.


Dudú Blue Lagoon - Stray dog
Un perro soñando en una laguna

Nadie puede quitarte tus sueños. Pero los objetivos pueden hacerlo. Sólo necesitas un arbitrario y poco profesional tomador de decisiones o algunos obstáculos administrativos para cambiar tus planes. Estos factores externos pueden poner en peligro tu idea para lograr el objetivo. Quizás esta fue la razón por la que siempre pude construir un nivel emocional más alto para los sueños que para los objetivos. Porque, ¿qué es más agradable que seguir mi imaginación  y perspectiva individual de la vida?

Ciertamente, no perseguir una meta y compartir una sala de conferencias con 100 compañeros, solo para terminar sosteniendo la misma limpieza documental en mis manos. Este es más un objetivo colectivo desarrollado por la sociedad para crear un cierto reclamo contra los otros. Prefiero quedarme con mis sueños individuales en mí, en mi propio hemisferio.

Por supuesto, también hay personas que defienden la perspectiva exactamente opuesta y descartan los sueños como mentiras. No hay nada correcto o incorrecto al respecto  o correcto en eso. Pero si ellos no me juzgan, yo no haré lo mismo.

A menudo me he preguntado cuánto pesa un sueño. En contraste con un objetivo, un sueño deja una huella mental y, por lo tanto, tiene un peso en alguna parte. El sueño tiene que ser estampado y ubicado en un lugar distante del cerebro y esto, naturalmente, conlleva peso. Un objetivo, por otro lado, solo se logra o no. Pero no tiene una carga mental comparable a un sueño.


A baby sleeps and has sweet dreams
Un bebé sueña activamente mientras esta durmiendo

Hay dos sueños que he seguido y vivido. Uno se cumplió y el otro no. Â¿Soy físicamente más pesado que antes porque el sueño se hizo realidad?

Página siguiente: Un sueño que afortunadamente no se hizo realidad

Gato Lugh – The Meowvie

TraPhil features...
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It’s a sad story, when you have to leave your best friend behind. I will leave Lima and might never see him again. For a moment I thought about putting him into my suitcase, when I leave. Then I realized, that I don’t have the space and free weight to carry a 9 kilo monstrosity and will be overcharged from the transport operators.

So what present to give when I leave? A can of tuna? Do cats even feel when you leave? I will find it out. In case of emergency also without a can of tuna. But I hope, that he will like the following video that I recorded and edited. It should be nothing less than an eternal appreciation for Lugh the Cat. And thanks to YouTube, this video will hopefully last forever and survive all nuclear wars of the future to show mankind what funny and lovely personality this little tiger was and how much he enriched and delighted my time in Lima.

https://youtu.be/VSiHTWeKtTk
Ladies and Gentlemen. I’m proud to introduce you to the five minute masterpiece ‘Lugh – The Meowvie’ to all of you.

Traphil features… Lugh

TraPhil features...

(Approximate reading time: 12 minutes)

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I am writing now about a very special friend of mine, who I made in Lima, Peru. People sometimes laugh here about me when I say, that he is the best friend I have here. I don’t really know why they say that, actually I don’t really care. Maybe because they never had a best friend. Or maybe they never felt a friendship to a cat.

To a cat?

Yes, to a cat! These animals with their four paws, their 270° radar ears and long whiskers. My best friend is called Lugh, but some people get confused with Garfield when they see him. Lugh has as well an orange colored fur and characteristic stripes on his back. And comparably to Garfield’s appearance, Lugh has exactly the same humanly problems, e.g. overweight, laziness and the fear of vacuum cleaners. Maybe these are not the problems of every human being, but at least the ones from myself.

And here we are why Lugh and me are such good friends: Because we can identify with each other and share mutual interests. I like canned tuna, Lugh as well. Lugh likes to oversleep all day, I do sometimes the same. And we both are very curious characters, who want to explore and discover the unknown.

Cats might have their own character, but are predominantly shy and nervous animals who prefer the defense mode, when someone new is approaching their territory. Lugh is different: He is a very friendly and curious cat, welcomed and accepted me very friendly in his territory. Another distinct sign for the Peruvian hospitality.

Lugh lives together with another cat, called Enya. Both have their names from important gods of the Irish mythology and Enya is the mother of Lugh. But only in the mythological Celtic stories, in real life both cats aren’t related to each other. So, they live together in the apartment of Susan, their ‘real mommy’.

Garfield-Lugh is always very nice and friendly to Enya as well, but she doesn’t thank him for that. Au contraire: She usually wants to cause fights and bullies him around 5-6 times during the day as you can see on the following videos. Like in real life as well, it’s always the woman who likes to start to fight.

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The poor and innocent overweight cat usually quits the field and retreats the female cat her space. He wouldn’t dare to defeat the girl, although his physique is more thein sovereign. A real gentleman and a sad depiction of ‘the real life’ as well. That’s how it goes, if you live together with a moody bitch!

Lugh however has many vices, but his biggest one is TO EAT. His few kilograms too much on his rips don’t come from black magic. These were all inimitably added to his normal bodyweight, when used to guzzle himself. His own dry food for cats isn’t unfortunately enough for him, that’s why he steals from Enya’s bowl as well. But for all her bad bullies against him, she deserves the diet-version of a bowl of cat food.

And if that isn’t enough, he even tries to steal food from my plate, from the fridge or the trash bin. One could also say, Lugh is born in the wrong body, because he is hungry as a tiger but can only live in a body as a cat. Whilst writing about his birth you should take a look at the following pictures, that show the ENOURMOUS differences between his birth size and the recent state.

For me it is simply incredible, if I take a look to his full size right now:

18ed2c58-ad9d-454d-a941-074ef263ec72.jpg
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For me it’s unbelievable how a cat can weight 100 times more after the birth weight. Maybe I should check the Guinness World Records and look if he maybe broke already a world record. With distinct cats, it’s possible to earn a good keep, hinting here at Grumpy Cat.

Another vice of him is to chase reflections. Whenever something like a mobile phone, a mirror or a glass is reflecting sunlight or artificial light, he deactivates his logical mind and enters the hunter’s mode. Unfortunately, he never succeeded to catch one single time a reflection. I told him several times, that his efforts are fruitless and will be fruitless forever, but he doesn’t want to hear that and ignores my wise recommendations. At least I have to admit his willingness and the ‘Never quit’ mentality. One time he was so wild, that he knocked over a whole scratcher.

img_3293.jpg

From the shock in his face you can imagine, that he probably understood doing something wrong and wanted to apologize for that, repetitive meowing. All forgiven!
Lugh is now 4 and a half years old. In human years this would be 33 living years. In this age, you should actually behave very experienced, mature and sovereign. Lugh is still trying to find these behaviors for himself. For 33 living years, he is more a silly person than a senior. But that’s okay, I’m probably the same.
I sometimes think, what job he would have, if he wouldn’t be a cat. Probably being a supervisor, because that matches his interests and talents of observing people at work as well:

img_1991.jpg

Another talent of him is to steal things:

Here he tried to steal money from me. So probably also a criminal career would be a way for him to earn his keep. But I don’t know about the chances of him on this specific career market.
Sometimes he just likes to make a chaos and make me responsible to clean up his mess:

img_6755.jpg
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Because of these moments, I want to kick his ass. Another time when he breached my rules and entered the shower, I thought about switching it on to let him learn and understand more about the consequences for his misbehavior. Not being fully sure, if this would be a morally good thing to humiliate a cat, I asked this question in a poll in my Instagram Feed and got a very balanced answer:

img_1972.png

So I didn’t do it. Damned, it was a unique opportunity to educate him and I missed it!
But together we also have a lot of fun. Mostly, because I like to make fun of him.

One day, Susan and I tried to shave him. Fat cats have also a lot of fur and Lugh isn’t unfortunately an exception here. It didn’t really work as we all imagined, but at least we tried it…

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The best video so far from Lugh is the following:

Thank you Lugh for all the nice moments we had together. I wish you a long and prosperous life with a few kilogram less on your belly!

Your friend Phil